I never realized how
perfectly my body functions as a whole, until it all started functioning in
pieces.
On the day after my
nine-hour surgery I realized I’d lost my appetite, lung capacity, range of
motion, energy, ability to walk, memory, core-strength, as well as any sensitivity in my new
breasts.
When functions come back,
they do so at their own time, in their own pace. At first I couldn’t move the
little ball in my aspirator, but now I can hold big lung full’s of air! And I can
stroll around the neighborhood on my own, rather than clinging to my mother.
Crack |
My appetite is back too, and
was announcing itself last night as I sat on the sofa with a smelly wet basset
hound named Jed. More than anything, I needed ice cream. And it wasn’t a
passing fancy, it was a hard-core crack-esque craving.
So regardless of the late
hour, and in spite of the rain, I nudged the dog aside and hauled myself off into
an upright position. I needed Häagen-Dazs. Moments later I was shuffling up the road in my
rubber boots, umbrella in one hand - ten-dollar bill in the other.
Twenty minutes later I was
back in the kitchen, soggy but triumphant. I plunked the ice-cream on the
counter, eased the lid, and dug in.
Holy F*ck. It was like
diving into an empty swimming pool – hard as rock. My outer ribs stung from the
effort and I could feel my incisions burning right through my chest. I gasped –as my formerly numb boobs screamed
with pain. My appetite and energy may have been on board, but my upper body
strength certainly was not! Spooning hard-as-rock ice-cream was out of the
question.
So instead of digging in, I
brought the container to my mouth and gave it a little lick.
There! My taste buds were
happy, my tummy was happy, and everything in between will just take a while to
catch up.
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