Numb Boob & a Hot Drink

I’m always on the lookout for the silver lining that comes with having reconstructed boobs. And if that’s not available, I’ll settle for a party trick.

As luck would have it, I was lying in bed last night drinking Neo-Citran (that’s not the lucky part). Thanks to the polar vortex, everyone I know is feeling quite poorly. And those that aren’t actually feeling sick, still look pretty awful. So I decided to have a super early night and do a little reading in bed.

Jed in Bed

I took my hot beverage, my MacLean’s magazine (the Silken Laumen issue) and climbed into bed with Jed. I set my drink on the bedside table and settle down to read about Silken’s 'shocking secret'  and her road to Olympic bronze. 

The problem was – once my cup was on the table, I couldn’t really pick it up. I don’t have that sideways arm movement that allows me to do such things! Once I reach sideways, and back, with my right arm I get kind of stuck and have to make a big circle to bring it back alongside me. Not only does this make it difficult for getting into a parka, but also drinking in bed.

So I tried to keep my scalding hot cup with me, and settled it on my stomach. Within second the heat was too much. I tried resting it on the bed – but it was too tippy. I tried just holding it up  - but the cup was too hot. So I rested it on my right breast. Bingo! I couldn’t feel a thing. I could feel where the cup was supposed to be, but it was as though I was wearing a space suit. I was totally protected from any sensation. I am a human coaster.

Once the thrill died down, it occurred to me that I could be causing some serious damage. I peeked under my top, but nothing was amiss (And still no nipple). Just two miraculously perfect mounds and an enviable cleavage. No signs of damage.

I’m not sure what made me more tired. My evening beverage, or the story of Silken Laumen’s family.  You have to pull out a few stops to impress me anymore, and a crazy German mother just doesn’t impress.

However, a numb boob serving as a coaster impressed me quite a bit.