The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

I have a lot of hats. Maybe not quite 500, like Bartholomew Cubbins, but it sure feels like it. But like young Mr Cubbins, I am rarely hatless. Often I wear two at once! Coming in from the outdoors I take off one ‘going out’ hat, to reveal my smaller ‘indoor’ hat. That way, my wig will stay covered, and I won’t have to do a self-conscious swap in public.

Our front hall is now festooned with hats. Open the closet, and it overflows with jaunty caps, eager for the right occasional. About 100 of these hats are the result of my own panic buying. Prior to baldness I over-anticipated the amount of head coverings I was going to need. What made it more seductive is the best hat store in the universe, tucked away on the 3^rd floor of princess Margaret Hospital. They have a fine selection! (And the hats, though appropriate for baldies, are not specifically for that purpose. Their splendid stock is selected for it’s considerable size, excellent head coverage, and top-notch quality).

The 500 Hats of Me

Another bunch of caps were ordered on-line at 3 am from a company in Utah. They specialize in head coverings for girls like me, and while not particularly stylish, are very cozy for bed.

The remaining 300 hats (I exaggerate, of course) were gifts from my favorite people, who correctly predicted that I’d relax under the comfort of something stylish and cozy. These ones are special (Thanks Caleb!), because of the sweet consideration that went into their selection, and the understanding that an egghead needs low coverage, a generous fit, as well as a certain je ne sais quoi.

Both Bart Cubbins and I can stack our hats quite high. As he takes off one hat, another appears that is more beautiful than the last, until he reveals the final hat, which is gilded, and covered with gems.

My hat stack is a little shorter. As all the hats are removed there is a wig named Julie, which though not gilded, has some nice reddish-brown highlights. Beneath that, there is my own gilded crown. 

In itself it is a gem, and my mother says it is perfect.