29 January 2013

DIEP 2013

Trusting my Gut

 For the last year I have been gaining weight.  I blame it on the Tamoxifen, but the truth is I’ve been eating with wild abandon for the last twelve months. As a result, I have a little tummy that is uncomfortable once it’s trapped in my pants. My new body is happier in sweats.

But I feel good about my weight gain. My upcoming surgery is called DIEP, and it requires that I have a little excess stomach fat in order that in can be used to replace the fat in my breasts. In a nutshell, it’s a boob job and a tummy tuck. At least that’s’ what sister Sue cheerfully blurted out to my reconstructive surgeon during one of our appointments. He smiled sweetly and said, ‘Um, yes. Essentially. But that’s not exactly how we promote it’

‘Can we use my fat?’ asked Sue.

As yet, I don’t have a surgery date. I’d like to get it over with a soon as possible, since it’s the last step of my treatment and I’d like to put the whole canceritis kit and caboodle in the rear view mirror. (Plus – I want to fit back into my jeans). But I have to wait till the surgeon and his OR become available. Right now he’s fully booked, reconstructing people’s heads and such. Hopefully it will be this spring. And once my date is confirmed, I will have to get Belleruth Naparstek and her Guided Meditations back on board, along with all my ‘magical friends and allies’.

I’m really not to keen on going back into the hospital, or going back under the knife – but I’m thinking long term. They will use my newly acquired fat (thank you wine and cheese), after which I will likely have flattened abdomen. It’s a long surgery, with a long-ish recovery, but it’s got the best chance of drastically reducing the chance of recurrence for a bilateral gal like me.

Recently I was talking to Sue about a difficult decision I was trying to make.  She thought a minute. ‘Trust your gut,’ she told me. Than looking down at bulge beneath my sweater she added ‘I mean, trust your boobs.’  

Let the games begin!