28 March 2013


It’s a tricky business trying to stay fit and fat at the same time. On one hand I need to preserve my expanding tummy. The middle fat is necessary so that it can be transferred to my upper middle, thereby reducing the risk of canceritis recurrence to almost zero. The fact that it requires a ten-hour operation makes me uncomfortable. And the fact that I haven’t yet been given a date for the aforementioned ten hour operation, has me completely on edge.

Then there is the other hand. I have to be in shape for this surgery. My surgeon, Dr Escargot, told me that I’m the ideal candidate for surgery. I’m a young (why thank you Doctor!),  healthy, non-smoker who is in fairly good shape.

But in order to grow my tummy, I’ve been avoiding all the exercises that strengthen  my stomach. I stopped doing sit ups, and I’ve taken a break from Pilates. I’ve been completely neglecting my core.

But my post surgery body needs to be strong. From what I understand, my recovery involves a strain on my back, since it will be overcompensating for my frontal realignment.  And I’ll have about 8 weeks when I can’t use my ab muscles at all. So I need to build up my strength. I’ve gone back to Pilates – sort of.  Rather than go back to class, I downloaded a video so I can do it my living room.

Pre DIEP exercise
Self Portrait with Minor Exaggeration
So I came home tonight, and did my workout.  At the end I spent a few minutes doing a plank. (Diane Sawyer swears by this). Tonight I took my position and looked down at my body. I could see my little cleavage, and below that, my gut. BUT – my tummy was actually hanging lower than my boobs! No matter how alarming, this is also fantastic. I was working out, while watching my fat. And there is ample!

In a perfect world, they doctors could squeeze my middle and push my fat up higher – much like a tube of toothpaste. But my body is less like toothpaste and more like a Werther’s in a muffin. Soft on the outside, hard in the middle.  So I continue to work on the hard core, while my muffin gleefully spills over my pants.

And I am getting fitter. And fatter. And still waiting…