26 April 2012

Vacuuming Naked

Radiation does funny things to the skin. And not ha-ha funny. It’s more like itchy, burning,  redness, rashy kind of funny.

In my quest to maintain some moisture and rebuild cells, I’ve been slathering myself liberally with aloe. Now that I’m on day ten, I have to up my game a little. Redness is creeping in, as well as some unwelcome sensitivity. My 12 yr-old Rad Tech said that aloe might actually by drying me out - so now I’m turning to Lubiderm as well.
Pre-Canceritis

My goo is apllied from my neck down to my ribcage, and order for all this stuff to be absorbed into my skin, I have to keep my top off for about 15 minutes.

So three times a day I draw the drapes (as the queen would say), get gooey, and wander around naked from the waist up. In an interesting development, the baby Rad Tech also said that I needed to moisturize my back , since the radiation also comes from underneath. So that means I can’t lie down. And I can’t really relax when I’m sitting up straight. And so I vacuum!

Post - Canceritis
Not only is it an efficient use of time, but also I really love vacuuming. The machine itself (Miele) is an excellent little friend, and I enjoy the satisfying clinking sound as the dirt from Jed’s paws gets sucked up the tube.  And while I love vacuuming, I don’t particularly like doing it without clothes, but apparently many people do.

I googled ‘Naked Vacuuming’ and up popped pages of info. People described it as ‘liberating’, ‘sexy’, & a ‘strategy for success’. The pictures were even better, including one poor fellow who ‘accidentally’ got his wiener sucked up the hose.

But, I don’t feel ‘liberated’. Instead I feel ‘self-conscious’, ‘cold’ &  'slimy’. But there are woman out there who swear by it, and they are the ones that take it all off for household chores.


Could it be that my pants are holding me back?  Are my demi-curve straight leg Levi’s coming between me and success? Maybe I should try harder. Today, when Jim’s at work and the pets are sleeping I’ll attempt to break out of my shell. Today I'll take my pants off too!







1 comment:

  1. Thanks for making me laugh today! I'm going to try vacuuming naked but I need to get curtains 1st

    ReplyDelete